


MLNOP

by secretagentspydetectiveninja



Category: Ella Minnow Pea - Mark Dunn, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Gen, Lots of Angst, also alcohol is a plot point so that too, also the weirdest but most fun thing i have ever written in my life, basically an AU of the novel Ella Minnow Pea, minor language warning i guess, probably on the border between a G and T rating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 21:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10772775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretagentspydetectiveninja/pseuds/secretagentspydetectiveninja
Summary: The strict boarding school that Marinette Dupain-Cheng attends starts banning usage of certain letters of the alphabet. As the students have to stop using the letters, one by one, so does the fic...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally just the novel "Ella Minnow Pea" (by Mark Dunn) but with Miraculous characters. It was fun to write but also pretty difficult - I had to blu-tack certain letters on my keyboard to stop me using them! Anyway, the whole thing is written in letter format, just like the original novel. Enjoy :D

* * *

 

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog

 

* * *

 

 

Ladybug Wing

Saturday 5th September

 

Dear Nino,

 

It’s Marinette here! Sorry I didn’t send you a letter sooner, the school postal service wasn’t open yet and though that handyman Theo offered to take the letters over to your wing, I thought it would be better to use the official school services.

Anyway, school’s off to a weird start, isn’t it? I didn’t think things could change much for our final year but apparently they have. First of all, you’re not even in the same wing as me! Why did they split us up like that? Everyone knows we’re best friends, been together forever! They kept Kim and Max together, so why not us too? Well anyway, I guess I’ll have to stay in touch by letter. I didn’t dare sneak in my phone this time – not after that fiasco last year. I still haven’t got all the broken metal bits out of my jumper. Darn Mendeleiev, always being such a stickler for the rules…

How’s the Black Cat Wing? You have to let me know! Who are your dorm-mates? Mine are Mylène and Alix. Mylène’s a lovely sweetheart, as always, and she’s really tidy and organized too. (I think she’s been making up for what a klutz I am!) I don’t think Alix wants to be here though. She’s a bit scary, to be honest.

Kim and Max are in this wing too, though their dorm is a little distance from mine. They’re the same as ever, Max getting his head stuck straight into schoolwork, and Kim busy challenging everyone to his infamous dares! (He’s already lost two races to Alix.)

But yeah, that’s all normal stuff. Now for what’s _not_ normal! That new guy on the headteacher council, Mr H. Moth. He’s so weird, don’t you think? Always dressing in black and speaking in that spooky, overdramatic voice? And he’s so strict! Apparently the whole “not being allowed to speak or write in any language except English” thing was his idea. It’s completely stupid – I mean yeah, we’re here to study English and all, but come on… detentions for accidentally lapsing back into French? Put in the headstocks for a second lapse? Being _expelled_ for a third? Seems so unnecessary to me. Kim’s really not happy about it. Back home none of his family know any English so he can’t even keep in contact with them. I’d be mad too if I were him.

The big news, though, is about the fallen tile! I don’t know if the news has reached your wing yet. I guess it must have, since we’re getting another weird rule out of it.

Basically you know that big statue out in front of the school, right? The one of Nevin Nollop, our school founder. And it’s got lettered tiles on it that spell out “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” because he supposedly came up with the phrase, using every letter of the alphabet, he’s so creative and almighty, etc. Bleh. Well anyway, the other day one of the tiles fell off and smashed onto the ground – the Z tile from “lazy”, so now it’s just “la*y”.

We all thought the tile was just going to be fixed and life would go on, but the council – and I’m guessing Mr Moth being behind it all – decided this must be a sign from Nollop himself, who’s long _dead_ if you remember. Anyway they say this clearly means Nollop wants us to stop using the letter Z, in writing or speech or whatever. Because that makes total sense. /sarcasm

The new rule is going to be put into place at midnight between the 7th/8th. If we get caught using any word with this letter then the penalties are the same as if we get caught speaking in something other than English – first detention, then stocks, then expulsion.

How did the other teachers on the council agree to this? Okay most of them are utter doormats, but Mr Damocles is okay, isn’t he? Anyway I guess we’re going to have to be a bit creative now to avoid using the letter Z. It’s a good thing it’s not a very common letter. I think I’ve only used it a few times in this letter so far, words like “organized” and “klutz”. Those could easily be avoided. We’ll probably have to start using the other spelling now for words that end in -ize. It’s -ise now. Organise, realise, finalise, etc…

I know it’s stupid but I’ll probably try and treat it like a challenge. Yeah, I’m taking a leaf out of Kim’s book! This is a challenge to not use the letter Z, and I’m totally going to do it awesomely! I’ve worked so hard to get into this prestigious school, I’m not getting expelled over some letter.

Please write back soon! I miss you already!

 

-Marinette

 

* * *

 

 

Black Cat Wing

Sunday 6th September

 

Yo Mari!

 

So awesome to get a letter from you! I was gonna send one myself actually, you just beat me to it, haha. Anyway yeah this wing is nice, I’ve got Rose and Ivan in my dorm. Rose is soooooooo awesome! I don’t know why I didn’t make friends with her earlier, she’s so cool! And Ivan doesn’t talk much but he has good music taste. I can hear it through his headphones because he turns up the volume so loud.

Chloé, Sabrina and Lila are in this wing too, and some other people I vaguely remember from last year – Juleka? I think? And that kid whose hair is the colour of a ripe tomato, can’t remember his name and I feel bad about it. I should probably ask him. You know who I mean, right?

About that new rule, yeah, we got news of it. I’m so annoyed about it. What happened to freedom of speech? You realize all the books in the library with Z in them (so like, all of them) are gonna be destroyed, right? That’s like, totalitarian, dude. I’m not happy. We’re here to study English, that includes all 26 letters of the alphabet! Just ‘cause some tile fell off some statue doesn’t mean the ghost of Nollop is trying to get us to limit our language use!

I blame Mr Moth too. We have a running joke that his first name is “Hawk”, so his full name is “Hawk Moth”. Because he’s creepy. Most grown-ups are weird, but he’s the weirdest. Chloé says he’s really rich and influential, way more than even her family is. Do you think he paid the other council members to agree to making this stupid rule? A lot of grown-ups would do anything for money, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Good to hear from you though! Please send me another letter soon, I miss you too!

 

-Your coolest bro ever, Nino Awesomesauce Lahiffe

 

* * *

 

 

Ladybug Wing

Monday 7th September

 

Nino,

 

Okay, you need to get rid of this letter as soon as you’ve read it. Burn it or shred it or something. I don’t want you getting into trouble.

Because right now, as I write this letter, it’s not midnight yet so Z isn’t banned. But by the time you read this, it will be, and if you get caught with it in your possession then you’ll be punished. I’ll send this letter via Theo, just in case. Be careful, okay?

You were right about the books, they’ve all been destroyed. That’s pretty concerning. Even the textbooks are gone – Bustier was complaining about how hard it’s going to be to teach now and I don’t blame her! Once we’ve got used to this new rule then yeah it’ll be easier, but I kind of wish there was a buffer period for the punishments first. I don’t want to accidentally be expelled just because I forgot about the rule and let my guard down for a few seconds within a prefect’s earshot. Or worse, within Hawk Moth’s! (It’s a good nickname. We’re calling him that too now.) You’re right, he probably did pay the other council members. Corruption, ugh… not that we can do anything about it…

Speaking of illegal stuff, I saw some crates of liquor being carried in down by the dining hall. I think it was moonshine, that really powerful stuff. Who could have gotten away with ordering something like that? Surely it would have been confiscated immediately!

Y’know… I’m gonna miss Z. It’s a cool letter. At least it’s one we don’t use much, I guess. People who have the letter in their names will have to be called something else now. Oh, and apparently kids under 8 are exempt from the punishments. So little Manon, remember her? She’ll be able to uze Z az much az pozzible!

Only a few seconds until midnight…

And there we go! That letter is now against the rules, and I’m not gonna use it anymore.

 

-Mari

P.S. The kid with red hair is called Nathaniel.

 

* * *

 

 

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y *

The quick brown fox jumps over the la*y dog

 

 

* * *

 

Black Cat Wing

Tuesday 8th September

 

Yo Mari

 

Don’t sweat it, I destroyed your letter. By the way, in case you don’t know, we’re not allowed to use asterisks in place of the missing letter either. Or any symbol like that, not even Morse Code. We’re just meant to carefully avoid the letter completely and pretend it doesn’t exist.

A bunch of people have already failed that. At least ten people from this wing have detention today, and I heard that Kim’s on his second offence, gonna be put in the stocks for an afternoon! (Is that true? Lila said she heard it from Theo, but we all know Lila tends to tell tall stories sometimes so I’ll take it with a pinch of salt until I get your answer…)

If it’s true I’m not surprised, though. Kim’s not the type to follow rules or keep his mouth shut. Honestly? I wanna rebel too! Mendeleiev is not having fun trying to teach us without textbooks, having to think over what she’s about to say, spelling it all out in her head first to make sure it doesn’t have That Letter in it… it’s no way for us to learn properly. I hope this rule doesn’t last forever!

 

-Nino

 

* * *

 

 

Ladybug Wing

Friday 11th September

 

Dear Nino,

 

It is indeed true, Kim reached second offence on the first day – and guess what? He’s expelled already! It’s not that surprising for a troublemaker like him, is it? He was already annoyed about the enforced English rule and it seems this was the last straw. I’m half convinced he said words with the Forbidden Letter on purpose just to get out of here and be able to talk to his family. That’s probably more important to him than getting a languages diploma from here.

I got to say bye to him at least before he left, and so did the others. I’m going to miss that idiot – though I won’t miss his stupid challenges! And I definitely won’t miss him as much as Max is going to. The poor guy doesn’t seem very happy to see his best friend go. At least he’s got his interest in schoolwork to distract him.

To tell the truth, I think I’m in the minority when it comes to missing Kim. Most people seem to think he was just kinda annoying. To be fair they’re not wrong, though if anyone should find him most annoying of all, it’s Alix, since she was the only one who ever took him up on his challenges. (And won. Like, every time.) I can’t tell what she’s thinking though. Before Kim left he gave her a little scrap of paper, too small to be a letter. I tried to get a look but she won’t let me see it – what could it be? Those two aren’t friends, are they? I always thought they were like… rivals… frenemies maybe?

 

-Mari

 

* * *

 

 

Black Cat Wing

Monday 14th September

 

Yo Mari,

 

I have no idea, frenemies sounds about right. And we heard about Kim being expelled. Saw his carriage leaving through the window actually! (Kinda weird that this school uses carriages… how old fashioned are they?) From what I heard, they didn’t give him time to pack or even provisions to get home. They just put him in a carriage, sent it off to the distant main road, then left him there to fend for himself.

You know, that main road in the middle of nowhere. Surrounded by a giant creepy forest. Barely any cars pass by so you’re unlikely to get a lift. There’s like, a payphone. That’s it for miles around.

So if we never hear from Kim again, I can think of a million reasons why.

Anyway, they are at least going to send his stuff back to his family. They’ll pack it up in a box and then send it by barge along the river. (By the way, I’m getting all my info from Lila so please lemme know if it’s inaccurate! If it is then I’ll tell her to stop fooling us.)

 

-Nino

 

* * *

 

 

Ladybug Wing

Thursday 17th September

 

Dear Nino,

 

All your info is correct. I guess Lila’s being more truthful these days, and less self-centred from the sounds of it, which is nice! But yeah, I’m worried about Kim… I know he’s resilient, he’ll make it, and apparently there is a village within walking distance so he can at least make it there and get a car back home or something. But still, it seems so mean to just abandon him there like that! At least he’s 17, but what if a younger kid gets expelled? How are they going to survive?

Max isn’t doing so well. I think he’s really worried about Kim too. Though I don’t see him that often, he seems to be throwing himself further into his studies, like he hopes that’ll ease his mind or something. I hope it does help him.

At least I seem to be much closer with Mylène these days. We talk about the new rule a lot, and how surprisingly hard it is to adjust to the loss of just one fairly insignificant little letter. I can’t say the same for Alix, who seems more aloof than usual now. It’s not like she ever spoke to me much, but recently she just hardly speaks at all. I still don’t know what the piece of paper says and I’m honestly a little scared of asking.

Ahhh! Just got news that another tile fell off the statue – this time the letter Q! What do you think will happen now?

 

-Mari

 

* * *

 

 

Black Cat Wing

Saturday 19th September

 

Yo Mari,

 

Well I hope this means the council will realise how stupid they were being, and lift the ban on that other letter. They can’t ban two letters, can they? That’s just uncool!

Kim can make it. He’s a tough cookie. I just wish things didn’t have to go like that for him, I know he’s not exactly academic, but he wasn’t failing or anything. (As far as I can remember.) He’d have got a great diploma, been able to get a really good job, all that stuff… I’m not saying he can’t do that now too, but this was such a cool opportunity for him. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. A single letter was responsible for changing his whole life.

 

-Nino

 

* * *

 

 

Ladybug Wing

Monday 21st September

 

Dear Nino,

 

The council has not realised how stupid it’s being. No, the council has decided that Q will be banned too in a few days. Because clearly, obviously, the ghost of Nollop is knocking letters off the statue in order to convey some holy message to us, and it’s totally nothing to do with the fact that the statue is _old_ , and old things _break_. Nah, that would make too much sense.

Q… I guess we don’t use that one much either. We’ll have to deal with it. No more talking about that smart person from James Bond!

Another thing, and this one much worse: there’s more to being expelled than just being kicked out of school. Your family gets heavily fined, too. Did you know that? Kim certainly didn’t. And not only that, but Hawk Moth is influential enough that if you get kicked out of here, he can very well make your whole family pay for it. Social-wise. No more prestige. No more reputation. A rich jerk called Mr H. Moth will see to it that your family is never respected by anyone ever again.

And Kim didn’t know any of this.

I’m so worried for him, Nino, I’m worried sick like some old grandmother. What will become of him and his family? If he can even make it back home, that is? Fined heavily enough to drain all their money, so no way to build back up their rep that Hawk Moth will leave in shambles, probably end up driven out of their home…

I think, if Kim knew this would happen, he would have been a lot more careful. I certainly am going to be. Three missteps and there goes my entire family’s chance at a good life.

I’m pretty sure money is the motive now. Hawk Moth doesn’t want people to leave the school so he’s forcing us to stay by threatening our families like this. And by putting in these rules about the letters, he doesn’t have to spend the whole budget on textbooks and actual education, he can just take all the money himself like the glutton he is. And even if we do leave, expelled or otherwise? The heavy fine will still put a lot of cash in his pocket.

I’m so angry, Nino! How could he be like this? And not only that, I bet I know what he’s spending his money on – moonshine! Yeah, I walked past the council room the other day and it stank of the stuff!

 

-Mari

 

* * *

 

 

Black Cat Wing

Wednesday 23rd September

 

Yo Mari,

 

That sucks. That super, utterly, royally _sucks_. I am def gonna be more careful now there are more consequences.

And Rose… oh, poor Rose. She accidentally said a word containing that one letter. You know that word, which means 12 of something? Yeah, that. Well she said it by accident and quickly snapped her hands over her mouth, apologising loads. I was totally fine with it, I wasn’t gonna rat her out or anything.

But Chloé. Chloé freaking Bourgeois. She just had to overhear, didn’t she? And just had to snitch on precious little Rose, didn’t she? Man, I am so mad at her right now. Rose doesn’t deserve detention, she’s so sweet and –!

Gah. Sorry, I’m not really in the mood for writing. Maybe I’ll get Ivan to rec me some of that angry punk music of his. He’s still got a few illegal songs on his MP3 (ones with That Letter in them) but none of the teachers have checked it, so…

Yep. Anyway, next time I write to you, we won’t have Q probably. So quite quickly I’ll queue in as much quantity of this quality letter I can!

 

-Nino

 

* * *

 

 

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P * R S T U V W X Y *

The *uick brown fox jumps over the la*y dog

 

 

* * *

 

Black Cat Wing

Wednesday 30th September

 

Dear darling Mylène,

 

It’s Rose here, “sweet Rose” as you always used to call me! I miss you so much! How’s life in the Ladybug Wing? Nino tells me you’re sharing a dorm with Marinette and Alix. I certainly hope you’re enjoying it!

Unfortunately I’ve had a detention. I used a certain letter the other day and Chloé told on me – which I must admit, was pretty mean of her! We’re classmates, we don’t betray each other like that! But oh well, it is Chloé after all, I was just expecting better from her… Now I’ve only got two more offences to go until expulsion.

I suppose now that another letter has gone, I don’t want to see the rest follow suit! Soooooooooooo in the meeeeeeeeeantime, I will ooooooooooveruuuuuuuuuuse the remaaaaaaining letters, juuuuuuust becaaaaaaauuuse I caaaaaaan :)

 

-Rose

 

* * *

 

 

Hey Alix,

 

It’s a letter from your friendly neighbourhood Marinette! I don’t really talk to you much it seems, you’re never in the room when I am – how are you? You alright? You seem withdrawn these days, especially after Kim left. What was on that piece of paper he gave you?

 

-Marinette

 

* * *

 

 

Mind your own damn business.

-Alix

 

* * *

 

 

Wednesday 7th October

 

Dear Nino Lahiffe,

 

My name is Alya Césaire, I’m a student hoping to become a freelance journalist. Recently some interesting events seem to have been happening at your school – an ex-student called Lê Chiến Kim has informed me of the letter ban that is in place, and its harsh punishments. He and his family have had to flee but he would like me to let you know that he’s fine.

Anyway, this could really be a fascinating scoop for me. It might even be my big break. I think, if I could get into the school on the pretence of being a foreign exchange student that you invited to stay with you, then I could gather enough inside info to write a stellar article about all this weirdness. Kim assured me you’re a cool guy, I hope we can make a friendship out of this if nothing else. Please do let me know as soon as possible if it’s okay for me to visit!

 

-Alya

 

* * *

 

 

Thursday 8th October

 

Dear Alya,

 

I’d love for you to visit, please feel free anytime! Stay as long as you want. This school is utterly ridiculous at the moment, so I’m sure you’ll get plenty of what you need for your article. And yeah, I’ll pretend you’re a foreign exchange student.

I’m so happy to hear that Kim’s okay! Though I’m less happy to hear that his expulsion meant repercussions for his family. I hope everything goes well for them. Thank you for letting me know anyway, I’ll tell everyone here who was worried about it.

 

-Nino

 

* * *

 

 

Black Cat Wing

Thursday 8th October

 

Mari Mari Maaaaarineeeettttte!

 

It’s ya boy Nino, and with some good news for once: Kim’s fine! He made it back to his family, he’s okay. Man, I am so relieved. But his family have had to relocate or something so I dunno what’s going on there. I’m just glad for now that he’s safe.

Also he talked to this journalism student called Alya Césaire, and she sent me a letter asking if she can come stay here at the school undercover and get a scoop. I said heck yeah! It’ll be awesome! And maybe if she can get the world to take notice of what’s going on here then someone will find a way to put a stop to it. After all, a few more people got expelled now. I hope they’ll all be okay too.

 

-Nino

 

* * *

 

 

Ladybug Wing

Saturday 10th October

 

Dear Nino,

 

I’m so happy to hear about Kim! And happy to hear about Alya, too. I just hope she doesn’t get found out by the council, since I bet they won’t take an undercover secret agent that lightly. They’d kick her out and give her the same punishment as the kids who are getting expelled. They’re strict like that.

You know, since they gave Mireille detentions for trying to sneakily fix another fallen tile. The letter J. I guess that’ll be banned soon too. Well, isn’t that just jolly!

And poor Aurore, when she got expelled she was sent out on the carriage so fast she didn’t even get to say bye to anyone! And apparently the staff who are packing her box of things from her room are trashing through it kind of hap-h… drat, I can’t use the word I mean. Well, they’re rifling through it without at all being careful, probably breaking some stuff, probably looting some goods too. I’m livid.

 

-Mari

 

* * *

 

 

Tuesday 20th October

 

Dear Nino,

 

It’s Alya here. One of your ex-students brought some smuggled pieces of tile chips to the institute I’m at and we got the samples chemically analysed. Basically, you know the glue that’s holding the tiles to the statue? It’s old. So old that it’s crumbling and breaking apart. Within a few months, all the tiles will have fallen off and you’ll have no letters to use at all.

Obviously, I don’t want this to happen. Who’s the most rational, sensible member of your school council? When I get to your school I’ll present them with the facts and prove to them that this is not the ghost of Nollop talking – it’s just science. I’d like to do it sooner rather than later, since apparently Kim’s family have had to move to some remote fishing village to escape the negativity that Mr Moth’s influence has brought them, and I’d hate for the same thing to happen to too many other people.

 

-Alya

 

* * *

 

 

Black Cat Wing

Wednesday 21st October

 

Yo Mari,

 

Alya’s got some science results to prove that the tiles are not falling because of a ghost, and she wants to explain it to the council when she’s here – who would you say is the chillest council member? Mr Damocles? He seems a bit more sensible than the rest.

 

-Nino

 

* * *

 

 

A B C D E F G H I * K L M N O P * R S T U V W X Y *

The *uick brown fox *umps over the la*y dog

 

 

* * *

 

Hi Alix!

 

Marinette here again. Sorry for being nosy last time, it really is none of my business – though if the piece of paper is covered in forbidden letters then I promise I won’t tell on you!

Anyway, are you okay? I know you’re not exactly talkative, but… I don’t know. Feel free to hang out some time with me and Mylène if you want. If that makes you feel better about everything. Or if you want to talk about anything at all, we’re here for you. You’re really cool.

 

-Marinette

 

* * *

 

 

Marinette,

 

You want me to talk? Fine. But this letter is all you’re getting.

I can’t risk being expelled. I’m already a failure to my family and a diploma from this school was my one last chance at not being cut off completely. If I get chucked out or leave, no matter how much I hate it here, I’ll get disowned and that’s it for me. So yeah, the stakes are a tad higher for me if I mess up.

And you know I’m as bad as Kim was at keeping my mouth shut. Thinking before speaking??? What’s that??? The best thing for me to avoid accidentally saying a forbidden letter is to not talk at all. That’s why I’m not saying much. Don’t take it personally, ‘cause this is nothing to do with you. Or Mylène for that matter. Only me and my stupid, reckless brain not being capable of censoring anything I say. Writing this letter was bloody hard enough without reverting to French or swearing enough to set the paper on fire. (I’ve saved your precious innocent eyes from that.)

I still hear everything you say, though. I noticed the moonshine too. God, I could do with a drop myself. But yeah, have you also noticed that the whole council stinks of it? I bet Hawk Moth’s drugging them all stupid with it so he can make his rules without anyone stopping him. That, and he probably pays them. People do surprising things for money and alcohol. I hate his guts.

 

-Alix

P.S. Stop trying to peek at the piece of paper Kim gave me. It’s only his phone number, sheesh.

 

* * *

 

 

Dear Rose,

 

It’s Ivan. I was having a go at trying to write songs without using the forbidden letters. It’s hard, especially in English. I’m not good with words even in French. But you said you wanted to hear my music so I’ve left you a tape. Tell me what you think.

 

-Ivan

 

* * *

 

 

Dear Ivan,

 

Your songs are absolutely wonderful! You’ll make a fabulous star one day, like… oh dear, I can’t write his name without the 10th letter of the alphabet. But Mr Stone, the rock star with a pet crocodile is who I mean. You’ll be like him and I’ll be there cheering for you every step of the way.

I know you’re shy and ran off so fast, but next time you can play me your music while you’re still in the room so I can gush at you in speech itself! (If you’re okay with that, of course.) Honestly Ivan, I think of you almost like a brother these days. I’m so glad you’re here. Oh – and Mylène’s a very good friend of mine, so if you ever need a winggirl, I’m free!

 

-Rose

 

* * *

 

 

Dear Rose,

 

Hi. I’m Yuleka. (I used to be called something else before the third banned letter.) I haven’t really talked to you much, but I wanted to say you’re pretty awesome. And pretty cool too. And you seem really friendly.

Friends… I could do with some more of those now. Nath’s been expelled recently and I never really got to know anyone else. It would be cool to get to know you. If you want, that is. You’re awesome. Did I mention that?

So yeah. We could, I don’t know, get a coffee or something. Or moonshine if you’re into that – I smell it in the staff room. I think the teachers are drinking it. I can’t imagine it’s easy to stop yourself using forbidden letters when you’re drunk, but whatever.

Sorry, I’m kind of lonely. And I know I’m pretty weird too. That’s why I want to talk to you though, you’re the friendliest person I know. If anyone’s going to be here for me now, I want it to be you.

Huh, apparently the D tile has fallen off now. That’s gonna make things interesting. If we keep losing letters we’re gonna end up talking like Fall Out Boy song titles – Thnks Fr Th Mmrs indeed! (Sorry again, I’m emo trash. I’ll shut up now.)

 

-Yuleka Couffaine

 

* * *

 

 

Dear sweet Yuleka,

 

I would love to hang out with you! You’re such a fascinating, unconventional sort of person. I’m not into coffee or moonshine, I’m more of a hot chocolate person myself, but we should definitely go get a drink together sometime. Let’s get to know each other better, from a prep to a goth!

 

-Rose

 

* * *

 

 

Ladybug Wing

Friday 23rd October

 

Dear Nino,

 

It’s your good ol’ pal Marinette again. About your last letter, I don’t know if Alya explaining things scientifically to the council will work, considering money and moonshine seem to be their motives. But it’s worth a shot. I agree, Mr Damocles is the chillest member of the council so she should state her case to him.

Or rather, Mr Tamocles, as he will be when the D ban takes effect. You realise I’ve already used D a bunch of times in this letter so far? How are we even supposed to avoid it? This is really gonna take some linguistic acrobatics! After all, past tense is practically made up of the letter: said, did, walked, talked, should, could, would… Not to mention you in particular having to stop using the word “dude” every other sentence.

Hawk Moth’s suggested replacements for days of the week: Monty, Toes, Wetty, Thurby, Fribs, Satto-gatto, Sunshine.

Okay, I’ll say it – they sound stupid. And that’s the last time I’ll ever get to say it, since the word “stupid” will be gone. So I’ll drive it home while I still can. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!

Apparently Nathaniel smuggled out some of the moonshine vessels when he left. Or rather, he got someone to put some into his luggage box that the school will send by barge to his family. I guess that’s a good idea that we all should employ – that way there’ll be less moonshine for the council to get hammered on, and some to sell back home that’ll make up for the heavy expulsion fees!

Don’t drink, kids, and stay at school… but if they kick you out then take their darn, dratted, damned drinks with you!

 

-Yours dearly and dreamily,

Marinette Dddddddddddddupain-Cheng (soon to be only Marinette Cheng)

 

* * *

 

 

A B C * E F G H I * K L M N O P * R S T U V W X Y *

The *uick brown fox *umps over the la*y *og

 

 

* * *

 

Black Cat Wing

Sunshine 1st November

 

Yo Mari,

 

Alya’s here! Alya Césaire, she’s here now! Staying in my room with us! The other two are fine with it, we all like her. She brought a sleeping bag so she’s gonna use that.

Ahhh… she’s so cool. Cute, too. Also… HOT. So hot. Really, really freaking gorgeous. Like, slaying. I’m blown away by her sheer staggering beauty. Her personality, too. So smart. So fantastic. Sorry, is this even making any sense? It’s so tricky to write without that one useful letter that we can’t use now.

Also, I might be sorta tipsy. A lot actually. There was moonshine on the exterior of the council room so we, uh… took it, as a celebration of Alya’s arrival. Now it’s running through our veins. Intoxication. Inebriation. Alcoholic silliness. However else I can put it. (Before you call us criminal, you better not forget that you stole my phone at least three times this summer! You kleptomaniac!)

Actually we all in this room mistakenly have been guilty of slipping up a few times this evening. A few illegal letters here, there, everywhere. It’s okay, no one will snitch! We’re all cool.

Especially Alya freaking HELLA AWESOME CÉSAIRE. Gosh, Mari, I’m totally, so, extremely in love right now. In love, I tell you! I’m gonna marry her. You be there at the marriage ceremony, okay? You be best man for me. Except you’re a girl. You can still be that, right? Anyway like that even matters, nah. All that matters is how stunning Alya is. I love that girl, I looooooooove her, ahhhhhhh…

 

-Niiiiiiiinnnnnnnoooooooooo

 

* * *

 

 

OMG IGNORE THAT LAST LETTER, I WAS NOT SOBER. ALYA’S ONLY A PAL. NOTHING MORE.

-Nino

 

* * *

 

 

Bug Wing

Monty 2 November

 

Nino,

 

Can I say… I ship it?

 

-Mari

 

* * *

 

 

Black Cat Wing

Fribs 6th November

 

Hello Rose,

 

It’s Mylène here. I thought it was about time I write to you again. How are you getting on? Have you been speaking much? After the ban of the most recent letter, everyone here is being far less talkative. It’s not easy, is it? Having to spell everything out in your brain before saying it, in case it has an illegal letter in it? Constantly in fear of messing up? I’ve caught myself with only a sec to spare so many times. I can’t ever say what I truly mean now. I wish all the thesauruses weren’t gone. Some people are resorting to miming (my father will like that)!

Marinette still talks a lot. I wish I was more like her. She has a sort of energy, it’s infectious, like she can brighten a room by her mere presence. Charisma, if you like. Talking that much is such effort, though, I feel like I haven’t got that much energy to spare. Alix seems to be the same way, she’s practically mute at this point. Takes up all her non-school time rollerskating. Apparently she fears facing expulsion since her family will refuse to accept her if that happens. What a tragic turn of events. None of us foresaw any of this happening before the start of school this year…

I know the truth is you’re still upset about Chloé snitching on you when you got your first offence. I think it was unfair of her too. But not to worry, Mylène to the rescue! I’ll enter the “first offence club” too, so you’re less alone there. (Not that you’re alone – so many people are past that stage at this point.) If this rule of banning letters continues at its current rate, by Christmas we’ll all be… DEAD!

There we go. My first offence. I will show this letter to Mr Tamocles, then receive my first punishment. (They call it simply “tention” now.)

 

-Mylène

 

* * *

 

 

Fribs 6th November

 

Mylène Haprèle:

 

Thank you for your honesty. However, it was unnecessary. We knew of your offence prior to you showing us, as we have a non-English speaker checking all the mail for uses of illicit letters. (So not to worry – your privacy is still intact!)

Also, your letter contains TWO uses of a certain illicit letter. Therefore that counts as two offences, so your punishment will be the stocks. Please take more care in the future, as one more strike will result in your expulsion.

 

Mr Tamocles

 

* * *

 

 

Satto-gatto 7th November

 

Hello Rose,

 

Whoops, I forgot that the synonym for “lifeless” that I wrote actually uses the fourth alphabet letter twice. It’s alright though, stocks were not too terrible. A little humiliating, but people have been very sympathetic. Especially since it’s happening to so many of us now. No one can keep away from the illegal letters for long.

Anyway, I suggest giving your letters to Theo now. Let him bring them between the wings. That way the council can’t look at our letters, since they’re clearly not very trustworthy, even if they say our “privacy is still intact”.

 

-Mylène

 

* * *

 

 

Black Cat Wing

Wetty 11th November

 

Yo Mari,

 

Nino here. Nightmare last night – that the I tile fell. Woke up remembering that luckily all the vowels are still there. How are we gonna cope when those start going?

Alya’s always one to speak her opinions. She thinks Nollop was a con, that there’s nothing special about the pangram he wrote, that anyone can create one like it. The council gives him more merit than he ought to get. Sure, he was the maker of this school, but the whole “his ghost is banning letters on purpose” thing is too much. He probably came up with the sentence not even on purpose, so there.

Also, she claims she can probably come up with a shorter pangram than the one we’ve got in tiles on Nollop’s statue. I believe her, I really believe her. She’s so smart.

Okay, so I may have a crush on her! But I bet if you meet her, you will too – she’s totally your type. You’ll let me have her though, won’t you? If she wants to? No clue, man, I… I really like her a lot. Haven’t known her long yet, but I want to. I like being with her. I wanna be able to talk to her properly, though, not full of restrictions like this.

 

-Nino

 

* * *

 

 

Bug Wing

Thurby 12th November

 

Hey Nino,

 

Alya seems lovely from your letters – I can’t wait to meet her! (Yeah, if I fall for her too, you can have her, no worries! Unless she loves me, that is.) You’re putting in a submission to move wings, right? So you can come talk to Mr Tamocles about the science results or whatever it was? Let me know when you get an answer!

Also, last night one of the four O tiles fell. Since there are still three left I’m waiting to see what the council says about that.

 

-Mari

 

* * *

 

 

Rose,

 

It’s Ivan. Your “big brother”. I can’t speak anymore. Sorry, it’s too hard. I keep wanting to use the illegal letters. I have twice so far. I can’t anymore. I know not what to say. Even writing is too much for me.

Keep being sweet. You’re the best.

 

-Ivan

 

* * *

 

 

Sunshine 15th November

 

Ivan Bruel:

 

Your most recent letter contains an instance of an illicit letter, in the sentence that begins: “Sorry, it’s too…”

As this is your final offence, this results in your expulsion. We will bring a carriage for you shortly, then return the rest of your belongings to your family within a few weeks by the river barge.

 

-Mr H. Moth

 

* * *

 

 

Bug Wing

Monty 16th November

 

Hello Rose,

 

Aw man, Ivan’s gone? Poor sweetheart! He was such a… such a lovely, lovely person! You know I have a soft spot for him, right? I won’t be able to let him know that now… I hope he’s safe, wherever he is…

It’s getting somewhat easier to talk now that I remember what sort of things I can or can’t say. Now that an O tile is gone, apparently we’re meant to stop using O by 25% - but how is the council meant to monitor that? They can’t! So continue using it to your heart’s content until the other three fall.

Nino, with Alya accompanying him, are here in this wing now. Their submission has been met with approval so they’ll be here for a while. In fact so many people have left that there’s plenty of space in the wing – you can come along too, if you want! We’ll happily have you here! Anyway, those two are meeting up with Mr Tamocles tomorrow to talk to him about the science explanation for the falling tiles. Hopefully that will achieve something at least.

Even though she barely talks, Alix is on her last chance. One more offence, then it’s expulsion for her. She is seriously not happy about this.

 

-Mylène

 

* * *

 

 

Bug Wing

Monty 16th November

 

Yo Rosie-Rose!

 

Nino here, in the Bug Wing, with Alya too. We’re gonna meet Mr Tamocles tomorrow. Wish us luck! I hear Ivan’s gone – are you lonely? Get someone to move into the room with you (how about that Yuleka girl?) or come here too! No one really cares anymore where you are.

K tile fell not too long ago. I guess that’ll be gone soon too. In that case, I gotta write about, um, something cool that took place, something I can’t write if I can’t use K.

A kiss.

A really great one. Alya’s a great kisser. She took me totally by surprise. I never knew she likes me too! Anyway, I guess I have a gf now? Neato! (Nino Césaire… how’s that feel?)

 

-Nino

 

* * *

 

 

Black Cat Wing

Monty 16th November

 

Nino!

 

That’s brilliant news! You two make a great couple! I was rooting for you the whole time.

I have in fact got Yuleka (soon to be “Yuleta” once K goes) to move into this room with me now. We’ve been on… I can’t use the letters to write it, but um… outings? Together? That may not have been entirely platonic in nature? I suppose I can say I have a “gf” now too, maybe! Not sure really. Everything’s a little wishy-washy. But we’re both happy, that’s what matters.

I certainly wish you lots of luck for your meeting with Mr Tamocles! You’ve got this!

 

-Rose

 

* * *

 

 

Bug Wing

Toes 17th November

 

Yo Rose,

 

Meeting was alright. Tamocles was not believing Alya about Nollop not being responsible for the falling tiles, he was like, “But what if Nollop is working _through_ science to make the tiles fall?” Yeah, right… But then Alya was bragging about how she can totally make a shorter pangram than Nollop’s, anyone can, Nollop ain’t special. So Mr Tamocles gave us a challenge.

Make a shorter pangram within a month. If we can, the letter ban will lift. We’ll be able to use all 26 again, forever.

Also he was like, it has to be _conclusively_ shorter. Nollop’s pangram is 35 letters, so the one we make has to be at least as short as 32 letters. That’ll prove Nollop’s not some almighty heavenly omniscient being.

We’re making a start on the challenge, calling it “Enterprise 32”. It won’t be easy, but we can totally make it! Huh, a challenge? If only Kim was still here, this is right up his street…

 

-Nino


	2. Chapter 2

 

* * *

 

A B C * E F G H I * * L M N O P * R S T U V W X Y *

The *uic* brown fox *umps over the la*y **g

 

 

* * *

 

My sweet Rose,

 

It’s your precious “goth babe” Yuleta here – fully well from the flu now! You’re ever so awesome for nursing me through it, I haven’t even got the letters to show my appreciation. Imagine I’m miming you a heart.

Anyway, I’m having a go at E32 (Enterprise 32) as well. I have been able to create a 49 letter pangram! Nowhere near 32, yes, but we’ll get there soon. Since I can’t write it (because it has illegal letters in it, obviously) I got a younger pupil, only 7, to write it for me with me miming which letter I mean. (Anyone younger than 8 is exempt from the punishments, remember?) See it if you want, but be careful, burn it or something fast before the council sees.

 

-Yuleta

 

* * *

 

 

A quick move by the enemy will jeopardize six fine gun boats.

 

 

* * *

 

My beautiful, awesome, precious, sweet Yuleta,

 

Nice! I was trying to create pangrams using the exact same way you were – I got a little girl to help me write it too! Yours is shorter than mine, though. I hear Max (over in the Bug Wing) has got one even shorter! He’s so clever, of course he’ll be trying so much with this.

 

-Rose

 

* * *

 

 

Back in my quaint garden, jaunty zinnias vie with flaunting phlox.

 

 

* * *

 

Bug Wing

19/11

 

Yo Rose,

 

Your pal Nino here. The F tile fell, also another O. So I guess F won’t be here for us to use much longer, though there’s still two O tiles to go before that’s gone too.

E32’s going well. Max got one that’s only 47 letters! Yeah, that’s still lightyears away from 32, but it’s a start. Alya’s helping even though she ought to be writing her article. She’s not in a bother about that anymore, she says this is more important. Awwwww, I love her so much! My bae…

 

-Nino

 

* * *

 

 

John Prady, give me a black walnut box of quite small size.

 

 

* * *

 

Babe,

 

Alya here. You’re away right now. I haven’t got time to wait for you to return so I’ll have to leave this letter as a farewell.

My cover’s been blown. The council, they were researching some stuff, got me. They totally get why I’m really here. That I’m not really a foreign exchange pupil. That I’m writing an article to tell the globe what’s happening here.

I’m facing “expulsion” now (though I never really was a pupil here in the first place). Gonna be put on the carriage, sent off to the main highway, left there to rot in the freezing temperatures out there. At least I’ve got a coat. Some people who left haven’t. They might not survive. I bet I will, though. I’ll survive. I’m a survivor.

No clue what’ll happen to my family now. Will they get a heavy fine? The social restrictions? I hope not, but I can’t count on it. H Moth’s too smart, he’ll see to it I can’t live an alright life now.

You stay here. Carry on going with E32. You’ve got this, alright? Put some moonshine bottles into my box when they collect my stuff. Smuggle them in. You’ll be fine. I love you.

 

-Alya

 

* * *

 

 

Bug Wing

21/11

 

Yo Rose,

 

Alya’s gone. “Expulsion”. As in, the council caught onto her game. She’s gone now, anyway. Not sure I’ll see her again. Trying not to ruminate.

This is the last time I can use the letter F. There’s a certain swear I wanna use. Really, really wanna use. It has another illegal letter in it though, so I can’t.

Oh wait, we can use numerals if we want. In that case: 6-21-3-11 25-15-21 8-1-23-11 13-15-20-8!

 

-a very heart-aching Nino

 

* * *

 

 

A B C * E * G H I * * L M N O P * R S T U V W X Y *

The *uic* br*wn *ox *umps over the la*y **g

 

 

* * *

 

Cat Wing

22/11

 

My poor Nino,

 

You poor, sweet thing! Poor Alya, too. She has so much spirit, I’m sure she’ll be alright, but… oh, this school can use some more spirit right now. To get us through all this. I’m sure you’ll see her again, though. She’ll survive the temperatures out there, get a taxi using the payphone I presume, go home to write the article anyway no matter what threats H Moth uses. Once we complete E32, or the school year is over (which will be a very long time away…), you will be able to see her again. I can _sense_ it. Is that a little consolation? You’ll be together again soon, I promise.

I’m a complete… can’t come up with an insult without certain letters! But I got another warning. You see, I was saying to Chloé something about that interesting pigeon man, remember him? Xavier Ramier. Only, apparently, he spells his name another way. (The Xavier part, I mean.) As in, he spells it not with an X, but with a certain illegal letter – the original illegal letter, actually, the one that went in the beginning which was the start to all this chaos.

So there was me assuming he spells his name with an X, but at Chloé’s expression I was aghast! What have I…? Ah, he spells his name the other way. I was imploring Chloé not to tattle this time, but she still went tattling to a teacher. Now I’ve been in the sto… public restrainment things, as punishment (how else am I meant to put it now…). One more slip-up, then I’m out. Oo-er.

 

-Rose

 

* * *

 

 

Bug Wing

23/11

 

Hi Rose,

 

Marinette here – I hear Chloé’s been a snitch again? Gah, I hate her! Why can’t she be nice? Why is she always this way? Especially to someone as sweet as you? You’re always lovely! You ought to have the best treatment! Everyone ought to be awesome to you!

Max can’t get below 47 letters, as much as he tries. It’s tiring. Everyone tires so easily at this. Pangrams, letters, English… I’m tiring too. So many have gone now, either expulsion, or simply leaving on their own, nothing remaining now here that they can cling onto. Rather their people at home having to pay than stay here any longer.

I can’t, though. I’m not leaving. Never. I’m _staying_. I gotta complete this. I’ll complete E32, I’ll continue trying over, over again, even when it ruins me! H Moth can’t win!

People who leave, we put moonshine bottles in their boxes. As many as we can. Gotta get the council to stop being imbeciles. We’re smugglers, I guess. Are you putting moonshine into your wing’s boxes too? It’s everywhere. Can’t remove the stench. Causing migraines. Slows E32 progress.

Nino mourns Alya. She’s alive, I’m sure, but he mourns her all the same. It _seems_ as though she’s no more. But she must be. She’s out there, somewhere. Waiting. I worry about the small pupils, though. Ones getting sent out in those low, low temperatures, nowhere to go. What will happen to them? Alya can survive, but can the rest?

I’ll stop writing now. I was going to write more, but… I’m sorta… in a wash. In a right state. A mess. Maybe I can now get why Alix has been so silent, cynical. It’s getting to me too. Perhaps I ought to tell her. She might open up more then. I have no patience now, though, I hope patience is not what she wants because I can’t give that to her.

 

-Marinette (all letters still there, somehow)

 

* * *

 

 

Alix,

 

Stop lying to me. What’s wrong? You were never completely silent. Now you are. Is it all getting to you? It’s getting to me. E32 is pulling away all my energy. I never want to say anything either now. Is that it? I only want to properly get it, so maybe I can help.

 

-Marinette

 

* * *

 

 

Marinette,

 

No, you can’t help. Last time I wrote about home, right? That I can’t leave school, or things at home will be… well, they _won’t_ be anything, because I’ll have to leave there too. I’ve got nothing I want at home. Except money, maybe. They better not cut me out, inheritance-wise. They’ll cut me out certainly on the chance I leave school, expulsion or whatever. A high chance, since I’ve only got one slip-up to go. I can’t let that happen. Can’t let H Moth mess them up. Remove their honour, steal all their money, whatever. Seems strange when I write it but it’s not nonsense in my brain.

Only things remain at school now, but I’m not happy here either. (No one is.) How can we learn? What’s the point? Can’t even say anything without a ten minute wait in-between while everyone spells everything out silently to ensure there’s nothing illegal there. I hate it. Hate it so much. A right pain in the… well, I’ll spare your eyes again.

Also… I miss him. Yeah, you get who I mean, I can’t spell his name out anymore. That moron. The one throwing out all those challenges all the time. So irritating, so _annoying_ , yet… I miss him. Not as much as Max, certainly. Those two were inseparable. But to have the person leave, the only one who was treating me as something other than someone to be anxious about, treating me as though I’m an actual _person_ , even though he was annoying as hell… We might have been pals, were he still here. Emphasis on the “might”. I can’t be pals with someone easily. As you can attest to.

You can have his phone number. I’ve got it in my memory now, that paper he wrote it on won’t be any use to me now. Alya was saying he’s alive, so he must be, but how alive is he? Because what we’re going through here, at this school, this isn’t living. It’s only existing, in some sorta limbo until E32 is complete, or we’re all lost trying.

That guy… I wish… Ugh, I can’t even say what I mean, there aren’t enough letters. He meant a lot to me but I never got the chance to tell him. Let’s put it that way. I can tell you’re gonna see too much into this but I can’t even bring my brain to care at this point, you can see what you want. Whatever. I miss him, realising too late, now he’s gone, but I really li… li…

Not enough blooming letters to say it. Guess I’ll have to exaggerate, then:

I love him. There you go! Not exactly what I want to say, but it’ll have to be that. I love that utter _loser_ , I want him to return, but he’s gone, somewhere, I probably won’t see him again… ever…

Was that enough? Want me to write some more? Well that’s it. No more. I’ve got nothing else to say. You wanna say something, you go right on. But I’m silent now on. That moonshine seems tempting.

 

-Alix

 

* * *

 

 

Cat Wing

25/11

 

Hello Marinette,

 

Yuleta’s gone. Expulsion. Never got to say bye. I haven’t been able to stop crying. Might come visit you. Sorry about the tear-stains on this letter. No energy to write more.

 

-Rose

 

* * *

 

 

Alya,

 

Will you even get this letter, sent by your own Nino Lahiiiiiii…? Maybe, maybe not. I’m writing it anyway. No clue where you are, I’ll have it sent to your home street, hoping that’s right. Hoping you’re still there.

We can’t breach 47 letters! Max tries so much, bless him. We’re all trying so much. No one sleeps much. But we can’t. Maybe it’s impossible? But no, it isn’t. We’ve got this. You say we’ve got this, so I believe you. We’ll carry on going. I’ll put up everyone’s spirits. By “everyone”, there’s not many people here anymore. The school is so… empty.

Two E tiles gone, also B. B will be illegal soon. Still got E in reserve, though. It’s getting so tiresome to say or write anything at all.

Love you so much. Want you here. Missing you. Wanna embrace the hell outta you.

 

-Nino

 

* * *

 

 

A * C * E * G H I * * L M N O P * R S T U V W X Y *

Th* *uic* *r*wn *ox *umps ov*r the la*y **g

 

 

* * *

 

Alya,

 

Still not sure you’ll get this letter – anyway, Max got to 44 letters! Yes! That got our spirits up, certainly. Now we have the courage to carry on going. Little girl Manon helping us write everything on paper, since we can’t. She’s the only one young enough. The only one here who’s less than 8. Everyone else either is 8+, or gone.

Some awesome person went wiring the school mics to play “Never Gonna Give You Up” on loop! We’re all laughing so much. It’s got illegal letters in it, millions. The council is utterly through the walls with rage. They wanna catch the culprit, punish them. It’s a great song, though! Not only since it’s a meme!

Alright, I’ll say it – it was me. I’m the culprit. Things were getting to me, I was gonna go insane without having some laughs. I hope the council never catches on that it was me.

 

-Nino

 

* * *

 

 

Six big devils from Japan quickly forgot how to waltz.

 

 

* * *

 

Rose Lavillant,

 

It’s me, Chloé. You hate me. I can tell. Even though you’re sweet to everyone.

My pal, Saprina… expulsion. I’ve got no other pals. Her papa is still here, as a sentry. He worries that she might not get home. Temperatures out there are so low right now. So very low. Might even snow soon. She might perish.

What now? I’ve got no one. You were right to hate me. I hate me too. I cry a lot. Things are going so wrong this year.

 

-Chloé without a surname now

 

* * *

 

 

Chloé,

 

You poor thing! Saprina was a great pal to you, I’m sure she’ll get home alright.

You want to chat anytime? Please go on! We all want a chat with a pal every now or then. Especially in these trying times. I’ll call you a pal, a great pal, not someone I hate. The only one I hate right now is Mr Moth, his council too. Everyone hates them. I’ve got no hate at you, though. You’re my classmate.

 

-Rose

 

* * *

 

 

Rose,

 

Mylène here. Important news: the council’s got Nino. He was the one wiring the school mics with that meme song. They’ve got him in the tention-hall, permanently. Not even letting him leave. This has more grave repercussions than using illegal letters. They’re… imprisoning him. No escape. I’m telling Alya all this too. (Can she even see the letters we write to her? Is she still at her normal home?)

No clue how I can help him. I want to save him. The council must have something very nasty in store, they see him as so insolent. What’s worse than expulsion? Whatever it is, I can’t let it happen to poor Nino.

Please come here soon. We’re all in such a worry. How can we live this way?

 

-Mylène

 

* * *

 

 

Marinette, Mylène,

 

It’s Alix here. Another slip up a minute ago, in a teacher’s earshot. That’s it now. Expulsion soon, perhaps only 10 minutes away. So no contemplating where I’ve gone, since I’m telling you – I’ll have gone out there in the carriage, to the main highway. Not home, though. Can’t go there now. They’ll expel me too.

It’s snowing out there, snowing very heavily. Practically a storm. I’ve only got thin layers. I might not last long. No cars go along the highway in snow storms, there’s no chance that I’ll get a trip to a warm place. Hypothermia sets in promptly. I only hope it’s not too much pain.

Still got that guy’s phone numerals, I guess. I’ll use the payphone to call him up (hope the phone lines are still open in this weather!), get to say something to him one last time. Unless he isn’t there. In which case I’ll perish alone. That’s not the outcome I want, nothing that’s happening is…

You know what? _Screw it._

If I’ve only got hours at most left to live, I may as well use all these goddamn letters as much as I want. You’d just better hide this letter well enough that the bloody council doesn’t find it and chuck you out in the middle of a freaking _snow storm_ too.

I didn’t want it to end this way. I actually had a life ahead of me, we all did! But yeah, my family won’t be happy with their imminent disgrace and poverty, so I’m not going back there even if I do miraculously make it out alive. I don’t know what I’ll do. It doesn’t matter, anyway, I can’t exactly survive a snow storm in a hoodie.

I guess the only thing I can do is huddle up in the payphone box, using the last of my change to call up Kim and hope he’s around to hear me tell him that I did actually enjoy his stupid challenges, so there. And I’ll let him know how much Max misses him. Max dreams about him – did you know that? Well he does. We’re all going a little crazy in here.

You two, though, you have to stay here. You _have_ to finish E32, okay? Maybe you couldn’t save my life, but you can save everyone else’s. The council’s ruined things for too many people now. Failure is not an option. And keep smuggling out that liquor of theirs, maybe they’ll come to their senses if they’re not fricking drunk every second of the day.

Speaking of liquor, they say it keeps you warm, and I’m so tempted just to… no. I won’t. Listen: when they come in to pack my stuff in a box to take to my family, get in as much of the moonshine as you can. Don’t even keep it in the crates, just take out the individual jugs and stuff them in, more will fit that way. Put in a dozen, two dozen… Heck, why stop there? Pack my box with FIVE dozen liquor jugs!

And tell Hawk Moth I’ll see him in hell.

 

-Alix

 

* * *

 

 

Pupils, teachers:

 

Newly gone tiles: C, U. C will turn illegal tomorrow. There is another U, so please cut usage 50%.

 

-Council

P.S. Tomorrow, call the council the “rulers”.

 

* * *

 

 

A * * * E * G H I * * L M N O P * R S T U V W X Y *

Th* *ui** *r*wn *ox **mps ov*r the la*y **g

 

 

* * *

 

Rose,

 

I’m lonely now, without Saprina here. There’s no one else. Also… I’m sorry. I was a tattle-tale, I was mean. I regret it. You’re my mate, my pal. I was a loser. You were always awesome. I’m sorry. I’m so, so, so sorry!

 

-Ghloé (what a strange name now…)

 

* * *

 

 

Rose, where are you? You haven’t got my letter or sent a reply? I haven’t seen you anywhere here either. Are you gone? Am I more alone now than ever?

Serves me right. I won’t waste your time anymore. I wish you well.

 

-Ghloé

 

* * *

 

 

Oh Nino!

 

Rose here, your wing-mate! Things are turning worse, worse, worse. I’m waiting out near the hall every moment, all the time, yet they won’t let me in to see you. It’s as though you’re in prison. I’m staying here in the Spotty Thing Wing now too, with Marinette + Mylène. There’s room in their room now.

You see, Alix is gone too. Expulsion. Most others we have hope that they’ll survive, yet… Alix went in the snow storm. No way a human will survive through something so harsh! Even one as strong as Alix. I weep a lot over her, all the time, never really stopping. Why must things turn out this way? The universe is too harsh! Everything hurts, everything I see or hear, it’s all so… harsh…

They say I’m naïve. I’m too sweet, too lovely. That the universe has no room. That I must toughen up to survive. People always are saying that. Not my pals here, I mean in general. Yet I never listen. I will stay my sweet, lovely personality, until when I’m gone. I’ll stay this way, in memory to all those we’ve lost. Alix, Yuleta, Ivan, Alya, so many whose names there’s no way to write now, so many… I’ll stay sweet all through time. They’ll want me to, wherever they are. Home? Heaven? I hope they’re happy.

I pray the “rulers” will let you leave your prison soon. We all miss you. We all _love_ you.

 

-Rose

 

* * *

 

 

Hey Rose,

 

It’s me, Alya! I got news that Nino’s in hot water, so to say. A sorta “prison”, apparently? That the “rulers” aren’t happy he threw a meme at them? That was pretty neat! Not the prison part, though. I worry what’ll happen to him in there. How will the rulers treat him? They’re angry, surely.

Anyway, I’m getting him out. I’ve return to here, I’m in this wing. Yeah, right here! I’ve got to save him, I’ve _got_ to. Hope no one sees me, or I’ll get put on the highway again. Worry not, I’ll get you out too. Trust me. I got a plan. We’re getting outta here alive, us three.

Hey – Saprina’s papa is a sentry, right? We’ll use that.

 

-Alya

 

* * *

 

 

My lovely pal Marinette,

 

Mylène here, leaving you a letter the last time. They got me, a slip-up. You + Rose were trying to visit Nino again, you weren’t here. You’ll return later, I’ll have gone. Away to the main highway. Expulsion.

It’ll all go alright. I won’t perish, I’m sure. Got a huge woolly thing to wear that’ll stay me warm. Also, it’s not snowing. Yes, it’s low temperature, not as low as when Alix went though. Well there is snow I suppose. Yet it’s not snowing at this moment, only lying there in pretty white layers over the grass. That’s not so nasty. I’ll survive that.

Perhaps I’ll go get Ivan, somehow. Is he alive? I hope so. I want to tell him many things. I’ll get Yuleta, too. Tell her everything. Also Alix, Saprina, Nath, more people… Are they still out there, somewhere? I’ll get them, I swear. Our pals.

No use worrying over me. E32 is what’s important. Put all your energy into that. I’ll see you again some time. You’re an awesome roommate, an awesome pal, an awesome everything.

 

-Mylène

 

* * *

 

 

Yo Rose, Mari,

 

(Haha… rosemary? Get it?) Sentry says you wait at the hall all the time to see me. They won’t let you see me, though. They won’t let me out at all. You’re wasting your time. I miss you too, yet you ought to use your time on E32, not me!

I hear that the V tile is gone now too. Within a sunset, we’ll have to stop using that letter.

 

-Nino

 

* * *

 

 

A * * * E * G H I * * L M N O P * R S T U * W X Y *

Th* *ui** *r*wn *ox **mps o**r the la*y **g

 

 

* * *

 

Marinette Pain-Sheng,

 

I’m Roger, Saprina’s papa, a sentry at the hall where Nino was. Alya was there, she help him get out. I let her. She, Nino, Rose, they’re going away now.

The rulers will punish me. Alya, Nino, Rose are Saprina’s pals though, her learning-mates. It was the right thing to let them go. Saprina will say so, I’m sure. It was worth the punishment. Now I’ll go home to see her again.

 

-Roger Raingomprix

 

* * *

 

 

Yo Mari,

 

My awesome girl in shining armour, Alya Sésaire… She got me out that hall. That “prison”. No more rulers, no more tention! We’re getting out properly now. Us two plus Rose, we’re going. Alya says she has a way to get us out without perishing through low temperatures. Neato!

You stay here, E32 awaits you. You got this, you so got this! You’re awesome, smart, great, the super greatest pal in the omega. My awesome mate Marinette. I lo… ahhhh! Not enough letters! Here’s what I mean: <3 <3 <333!!! I HEART YOU!!! YOU’RE THE GREATEST!!!

 

-Nino

 

* * *

 

 

Hello Lila,

 

Marinette here. I see you are here in this wing now. Guess all the others in the Meow Wing are gone, right? Too lonely there. Here you’ll get a little less lonely perhaps. Some people still remain. Not many, though. Not many at all.

My pals are all gone too. Whatya say to us two palling up now? We ought to hang out. In these trying times, it’ll help us stay sane.

 

-Marinette

 

* * *

 

 

Hello Marinette,

 

Pals? Yes please! We’ll rip away at E32 together, little at a time. True that almost no one remains in the Meow Wing (what a sweet name!), so I went here. Not many people here either, though. At least you’re here. I’m happy at that.

Let’s group up with Max. He’s always going at E32, all the time, non-stop. We ought to help him out with that. Us three together, we’ll get it right. We’ll sort things out.

 

-Lila

 

* * *

 

 

Hey Lila,

 

The group with Max was awesome. Three are greater than one! He’s smarter than me, though, a lot smarter! Great to see him again. I was staying alone a lot so now it’s awesome he + you are my new pals. Gotta stay sane somehow.

Also, 43 letters! We’re getting there, slowly yet surely!

 

-Mari

 

* * *

 

 

My girl wove six dozen plaid jackets before she quit.

 

 

* * *

 

Hello Marinette,

 

Max here. All the U tiles are now gone, the 1st aeiouy to go. It’s getting less easy now. Most other pupils gone now too. Only me, you, Lila + Manon still going on E32. All others who remain are in terror, silent, mute. That’s alright, it’s tough. We’ll get there, though. You’re going great.

 

-Max

 

* * *

 

 

A * * * E * G H I * * L M N O P * R S T * * W X Y *

Th* **i** *r*wn *ox **mps o**r the la*y **g

 

 

* * *

 

Gean, wing-mate, ya seem lonely. Wanna hang with me any time?

 

-Marinette

 

* * *

 

 

No. Get lost.

 

-Gean

 

* * *

 

 

Marinette,

 

It’s Ghloé here, thine “enemy”. I want to say, has Rose gone? I’m in this Spotty Thing Wing now too, she’s not in the Meow Wing, she’s not here either. Not replying to my letters.

I’m sorry. All these years, we were enemies, I was mean, I was… _wrong_. I regret all. It’s too late to properly say sorry, now that it’s so not-easy to say anything at all. Sorry, Marinette. I really mean it this time.

 

-Ghloé

 

* * *

 

 

Ghloé,

 

Rose was here in the Spotty Thing Wing, it was that Nino was in prison so she was here to see him. Her reason to go to this wing was not anything mean at thee, worry not. She’s thy pal. Me too now. We gotta stay together now. No worrying at things in the past, it matters not. We’re pals now, that’s what matters.

 

-Marinette

 

* * *

 

 

Mari,

 

Got to 37 letters!!! Not slept all night. Won’t next night either.

 

-Max

 

* * *

 

 

Zelda quickly wove eight nubby flax jumpers.

 

 

* * *

 

Pyoopils:

Phrom now on yoo may write in this manner, yoosing remaining letters to spell oot worts. Howepher, this is not permittet in speesh, so gontinyoo speaging in the normal manner aphoiting all illegal yooses oph letters.

-Roolers

 

* * *

 

 

Mari,

 

Lila here. Seems the only rooler still with some sense is Mr Tamogles! The rest laph all the time when they see that we’re worging on E32, as iph they assoome we’re going to phail. I hate Mr Moth!

Also, last night the X tile phell – right on top oph poor Gean Tooparg, nogging him owt! The roolers, not helping him, only notise the tile, lepht him there, in pain. I help him to the A&E sentre, yet no one was there! Plaster on his hair, hope he’s alright now. Seem alright last night when I got him to his room again. This morning, he was gone.

T, R + H also went last night. They haph twins, tho, so not illegal yet. X will tirn illegal tomorrow. Max’s name now “Mas”. More tiles always loosening, not got long lepht…

 

-Lila

 

* * *

 

 

A * * * E * G H I * * L M N O P * R S T * * W * Y *

T** **i** ***wn *o* **mps o**r *he la*y **g

 

 

* * *

 

Marinette Pain-Sheng,

 

This is to inphorm thee that thy pal, Mas Ganté, was got trespassing in the liprary (whish is permanently not open any longer), trying to more researsh phor help with E32. As this is against the rools, his ponishment is eggspelling. Howepher, he has ran away, I not ‘no where.

In honesty, I was hoping phor him to get to 32 letters, win the shallenge. Yoo geep going tho, alright? It’s what he woot want.

 

-Mr Tamogles

 

* * *

 

 

Marinette,

 

I’m still here in the wing, segretly. Iph any roolers no where I am, they’ll eggspel me properly this time. I got to stay hitten. E32 rests with thee now. Loog aphter Manon!

 

-Mas

 

* * *

 

 

Lila,

 

Only we remain. Mas is hitten. How’s Ghloé? She won’t answer when I nog on her room.

 

-Mari

 

* * *

 

 

Marinette,

 

Ghloé here, Lila says yoo sent letter to her wanting to no how I am – I’m sooooooo phine, I’m… gone insane, perhaps? Hahahahhahahaa…

 

-Ghlo Ghlo

 

* * *

 

 

Ghloé, yoo nepher answer me! I wanna say something to yoo! In person! Please!

 

-Marinette

 

* * *

 

 

Mari,

 

Ghloé ran away. Not wanting to stay here in this awphel playse any longer. I won’t shame her. I’m getting away too, I’m at the last part oph my sanity. Manon weeps all the time phor home – I’m tagging her along with me. A 7 y/o neets a happy liphe, not this trash. Hope we not gonna perish in the winter. All is now op to yoo. Wishing yoo all the greatest. Yoo were awesome.

Oh yeah, the Y tile’s gone now too.

 

-Lila Rossi (all letters still there somehow!)

 

* * *

 

 

A * * * E * G H I * * L M N O P * R S T * * W * * *

T** **i** ***wn *o* **mps o**r *he la** **g

 

 

* * *

 

Hi Mr Tamogles. Ghloé, Lila, Manon are all gone. It’s me & ewe, now – onless ewe are gonna go too? Wimp.

-Marinette

 

* * *

 

 

Marinette,

 

I’m not going. I’ll help with E32. Ewe neet all the help possiple in these last three sonrise-to-sonsets. I let Mr Moth rooin a lot oph people’s liphes. So I awt to help.

H tile phell last night.

 

-Mr Tamogles

 

* * *

 

 

A * * * E * G * I * * L M N O P * R S T * * W * * *

T** **i** ***wn *o* **mps o**r **e la** **g

 

 

* * *

 

Alea,

 

Tell all mi pals I’m alrite. Still going. Still tri-ing on E32. I mite not last.

Sorri, last letter. Too not-easi to write. Not goot at writing wen so little letters remain. I miss ewe. I miss all mi pals. I prai I’ll see ewe again one tai. So long, Alea, Nino, Rose, all…

 

-Marinette

 

* * *

 

 

G tile is gone, starting tomorrow.

-Roolers

 

* * *

 

 

A * * * E * * * I * * L M N O P * R S T * * W * * *

T** **i** ***wn *o* **mps o**r **e la** ***

 

 

* * *

 

Note to me:

Storm last nite. 8 tiles now no more. 8 tiles!! 8!!! In one nite!!!!

No more A, no more E, no more I, no more R, no more S, no more T, no more W. An O went too (one still remains).

I reet all mi letters to pretent mi pals are still ere. Still loneli.

I wanna … aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. No letters to sai wot I mean. None. NONE. ALMOST NONE AT ALL.

E32, I tri. I tri, tri, tri, tri. No resolt. No power. I’m lost. A mess. A loser.

Tomorrow, mi own name will not remain. Marinette? R.I.P.

 

* * *

 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * L M N O P * * * * * * * * * *

*** ***** ****n *o* **mp* **** *** l*** ***

 

 

* * *

 

MmmmmMMMMMmmMMMM!!!! No no no no nO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

 

 

 

_…Put in a dozen, two dozen… Heck, why stop there? Pack my box with FIVE dozen liquor jugs!_

_And tell Hawk Moth I’ll see him in hell._

 

 

 

Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs…

Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs?

Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs!

PACK MY BOX WITH FIVE DOZEN LIQUOR JUGS!!!

 

* * *

 

 

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs

 

 

* * *

 

Thursday 17th December

 

Dear Mr Damocles, and the rest of the council (especially you, Mr H. Moth!),

 

_Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs._

^There you go, there’s your pangram, delivered just before the deadline. It’s exactly 32 letters long (excluding spaces and punctuation), contains all 26 letters of the standard Latin alphabet, has no contractions or proper nouns, and it is a command – pretty fitting, considering how you’ve been treating us over the course of the past few months, you pompous windbags.

For the record, I’m not even the one who came up with it. While you were busy expelling children into the freezing cold wilderness left, right and centre, they all thought they were going to die out there. Maybe many of them did. I don’t know, since you don’t allow phones or internet here either. Not to mention, the families of the students won’t be able to afford those now, not after your fines and public shunning.

My friend and dorm-mate, Alix Kubdel, was expelled in the middle of a snow storm and was sure enough of her imminent death that she didn’t bother sticking to the rules when writing her farewell letter. She just happened to come up with a sentence, purely by chance, that was a shorter pangram than your darn Nollop’s fox/dog one. We were smuggling out your moonshine in the luggage boxes, you see. That’s what she was talking about. She wanted us to pack 60 jugs of liquor into her box.

So you see? Nollop isn’t almighty or omniscient or whatever. He’s just human, like the rest of us. Anyone could have come up with a pangram like that, whether by chance or by accident. Nollop is not special for it.

 

-Marinette Dupain-Cheng

P.S. I hate you. If my friends are dead because of you, Hawk Moth, I’ll strangle you myself and then strangle you again when we meet in hell.

 

* * *

 

 

Dear Marinette Dupain-Cheng,

 

Congratulations on completing the pangram challenge! As promised, all 26 letters of the alphabet are now free for you to use. You can tell Max to come out of hiding and the two of you deserve a welcoming cup of tea – or moonshine, if you want. I’ll pretend not to look.

Mr H. Moth has fled. I don’t know where, but I’ll see to it that he never comes back.

All the students who were expelled are now allowed back to school.

 

-Mr Damocles

 

* * *

 

 

Dear Alya,

 

It’s over! It’s done, finally! The letters are back!!! Omg, do you know how _good_ it feels to be able to write this now? To be able to speak without consequence, to have the freedom to say anything I want and not have to live in constant fear of expulsion?

The only ones at school are me and Max, though by the end he was in hiding because he was meant to be expelled. So yeah, it was basically just me by the end. The only letters left were M, L, N, O and P. It was a complete nightmare, I was so stressed and tearful and… so many emotions I never want to feel ever again, and not even the words to explain it no matter how many letters I can use!

But I just happened to be reading through some of everyone’s old letters to try and cheer myself up, and I noticed that in Alix’s final letter, there was (by complete accident!) a 32 letter pangram. Yeah, I’m not even kidding. “Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs!” How neat is that? She probably has no idea she even did that!

Well, if she’s even alive, that is. Did anyone make it? I know Kim did, and since you survived the first time, I’m assuming you, Nino and Rose are okay too. But what about everyone else?

You can come back now, by the way. If you want. I understand if this school holds bad memories for you now.

 

-Marinette

 

* * *

 

 

Dear Marinette,

 

I’m so proud of you, you lasted longer in that cursed school than anyone else! Right until the end! If you were here I would hug you so hard you’d go numb, I swear.

You deserve a bit of good news, so here you go: _every single student is alive and well._

Yup, you read that right! Despite the snow, the storms, the cold, everything, they’re all okay. And it’s thanks to Kim! Yeah, that guy, the one who went first! Remember how there’s a village within walking distance from the main road that the carriage leaves expelled students stranded at? Well, that’s the remote fishing village that Kim and his family moved to after Hawk Moth fined them into oblivion!

From there they’ve been running rescue operations every single day, taking a vehicle (usually a car, but a truck if they can get their hands on one – there’s not much in the way of supplies there) up to the main road, picking up any students there and taking them back to the village where they can contact their families and arrange proper transport to get back home. It’s so heartwarming to think about!

Nino and his family have been staying at my institute with me. I did indeed write that article, and slowly but surely it’s getting attention. Hopefully this will get Hawk Moth’s influence to dwindle enough that all the suddenly poverty-stricken families can make a comeback! Anyway, we’re engaged too. Yeah, I know, we’re like 18… shush. You can be engaged at 18.

Rose and Juleka’s families are staying together too. I haven’t been much in contact, but they seem to be happy enough. I’m glad for them. They’re such sweethearts, you know?

Ivan’s been picked up by the musician, Jagged Stone, as a kind of apprentice. That’s so awesome for him! He promises you free concert tickets, by the way. He’s going to write a song about the whole ordeal at the school, calling it “LMNOP”. It’s going to have all of us in it apparently. We’ll be famous!

Mylène’s fine too. Hawk Moth actually couldn’t send her father the fine, since he travels around so much it just kept missing him! Anyway, Mylène’s travelling with him for now, helping him out with his mime tours and all that. She says she’ll send everyone postcards from all the places she’ll get to visit.

Alix did indeed survive the blizzard, just about. Since the heavy snow was blocking the road, the village rescue service actually was planning to not go up to the main road that day, assuming that surely Hawk Moth wouldn’t be cruel enough to expel someone in such terrible weather. But luckily Alix had Kim’s telephone number so she used the payphone to call him up, and he told the rescue services to start clearing the road while he grabbed a giant coat and then just ran there himself to keep her warm until the rescue services arrived. They insist it was just a snowball fight followed by “thermodynamic equilibrium through cuddling”, but considering she’s moved in with his family in the village now, I do wonder…

(Her actual family do want her back after all. Her brother does, at least, I don’t know about the rest of them. I really hope they don’t disown her or anything. Apparently she’s got into so much trouble before that they don’t ever give her the benefit of the doubt anymore. Maybe if they hear she’s the one who came up with the pangram that saved us all, they’d be more lenient?)

After that, the village rescue services made sure to check up on the main road every single day, no matter what the weather was, just in case. And a good thing too, since they ended up saving a lot of lives – including mine! No one would have been able to survive for more than a night in freezing temperatures like that.

Chloé’s family is rich and prestigious enough that she hasn’t really been affected much by Hawk Moth’s actions. Anyway, by that time word had got around enough about all the nonsense going on at the school that people were more feeling sorry for all the shunned families than anything else.

Lila’s fine too, and Manon. They came to the institute to visit actually. Manon gets along very well with my little sisters, which makes sense, since she’s very much like them! And Lila’s a surprisingly good babysitter – she’s an expert at making up very interesting stories to tell them. Perhaps because she’s always been so used to doing that about her life in general…?

Sabrina escaped fine as well, and so did her father (the one who let me bust into the school and rescue Nino). They’ve met up and have been taken in by Chloé’s family, which is quite nice. I hadn’t really thought of those two as being proper friends, caring about each other and all that, but it turns out they really do. I’m happy for them! Chloé seems a lot nicer now, too. I just wish she didn’t have to go through something so awful as this for her to become a better person.

Everyone else I vaguely know by name is okay too – Nathaniel’s fine, he’s making money selling his art now. Aurore and Mireille have both signed up at the local news station, Jean Duparc’s head is still on the mend from the fallen X tile but he’ll be alright. And Max, of course, I know him too – he’s with you though! (Does he still think about Kim all the time? Maybe he should take a little trip down to the fishing village…)

So yes, this weird little story of ours does have a happy ending. Sometimes when I want to say something, my brain will still hesitate for a second, silently spelling it out, just in case. I think that’ll take some time to go away. It’ll take even longer for you, considering how long you were stuck at that school for. But at least it’s over now. Thank goodness.

Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs… that’s a good one. I’ve been doing some research, actually, and that’s one of the shortest. Another one, slightly shorter, is “The five boxing wizards jump quickly”, and another even shorter one is “How vexingly quick daft zebras jump”. And of course we have our good old famous French pangram: “Portez ce vieux whisky au juge blond qui fume”! (I guess we’re allowed to speak French again now too?)

But enough of pangrams, letters, all of that. I’m sick of it and I bet you are too. Come visit soon?

And Marinette… we all love you!

 

-Alya


End file.
